you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
