I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
