did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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