My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
