im gay
i know
yea but for you.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
