There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
