my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
