I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
