just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
