I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
