i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
