Dual....:-)
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
