That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
