i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
