it's too hot outside to masturbate.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Randomize
