my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
