i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
