worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
