I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
