Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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