her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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