If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
