3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
