did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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