my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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