Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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