maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The best revenge is premature balding
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
