We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I need a burrito and a hug.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
