I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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