He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
