I'm so fucking centered right now
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
