I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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