am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
