so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
