my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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