the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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