don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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