At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
