I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
