My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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