so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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