brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
