Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
