So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
