I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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