The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He has the fingertips of a God
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