batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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