you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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