Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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