Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
