It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
