Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Drunk is not a location!
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