I hate all girls vehemently.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
